Quite often I get a thinking How as kids we got by Like christmas time in our house We couldn't even afford a fire. But we made do in our house Back then when I was young Dad used to suck a peppermint And we'd all sit round his tongue. We couldn't afford no tinsel On our christmas tree So we'd just wheel old grandad in And make the old cunt sneeze Well things change so bloody fast I got children now of me own Now I heard 'em unwrap their presents Last night when I got home. Santa claus you cunt Where's my fucking bike I've unwrapped all this other junk There's nothing what i like. I've wrote you a letter And i've come to see you twice You geriatric wanker Where's my fucking bike. If i wanted a pair of fucking shoes I would've fucking asked This cowboy suit and ping-pong set You can stick right up your arse.